Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
