My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
