marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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