he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So much rum. So many feels.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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