theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
