I bet he comes in French.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
