yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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