I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
