I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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