Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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