That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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