all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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