I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
