Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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