I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
