Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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