no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Mom said you looked used
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
