pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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