ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
