Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize