2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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