she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
