You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We got so high we made milksteak
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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