I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
