dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
