there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
