dude i'm inner monologue high
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
