talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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