Don't make out with my wife yet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize