Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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