After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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