4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
