Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
