Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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