wat bout pragnant strippers??
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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