just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
