sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you would pick up someone in the library
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
