PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
