afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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