My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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