his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize