is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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