omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
