I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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