Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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