True but thats because hes a fetus.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
