I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
