I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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