she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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