Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
