He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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