We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
