I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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