My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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