Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
