i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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