New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
