remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize