Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
