sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
