Whod you bang
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
