I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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