I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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