I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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