Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
