You're so nebulous sometimes
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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