you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So many bounce houses so little time
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
