Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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