she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize