Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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