the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
