Small penises have feelings too.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
