discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
