sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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