Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im drinking this country out of the recession.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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