So drunk its hurt
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
