You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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