I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
