My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
