I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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