can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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