Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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